Imagine this place- beautiful with lush green mountains and valleys, adorned with fragrant flowers and silver streams bearing crystal clear cool waters. This magical land where everyone had enough, all were treated equal, there were no crimes and people were happy! Too good to be true? This is infact the description of my native, Kerala, in an age- old story behind Kerala's unique festival Onam! The gist of the story is that when Kerala was ruled by the generous King Mahabali, peace, prosperity and happiness prevailed. The main reason behind this was that everyone was treated equal and everyone had enough. Now can you imagine several thousand years ago, when equality was the key theme that kept people together and happy. Unfortunately this is not just too good to be true, but too good to last forever, because politics seemed to have its way even back then! King Mahabali became so popular that even the Gods became jealous! So they schemed against him and got him out of power and place. The King's only wish was that he be allowed to visit his land and people once a year as he loved his people a lot. This wish of his was granted thankfully! So every year Keralites scuttle and huttle to celebrate and create the air of prosperity, togetherness, and festivity during this time of the year to welcome King Mahabali! The feast- Ona- Sadhya served on Banana Leaf, the flower carpet made outside of each Keralite's house, competitions including Kerala boat race etc are just part of the celebrations. This is indeed a unique festival that brings the people of Kerala together irrespective of religion or social status. If the spirit of the festival has faded in recent years for whatever reason, let's all take a moment to reconnect to why we celebrate Onam and why we need to come together and stay together more than ever before!

When the pandemic began, I observed that besides the uncertainties and quickly adapting to a new way of living, many of us were forced to fully embrace the digital world. Along with words like unprecedented, economic downturn, social distancing and resilience, Zoom, virtual connection, reskill, upskill, and reinvent became common words. I was quite caught in an action frenzy at the start of the pandemic. The term slowdown simply didn't apply to me. I felt like I had so much to learn and do, reach out to people, support and empower. I launched my website, met work deadlines, helped kids with school, attended webinars, wrote articles, and coached people. But I couldn't sustain it for very long. After all I am human, not super-human. The whole concept of a 'productive life' - the theme of my website, became crystal clear to me. #Productivity is not getting a number of things done. It is to do things enjoyably and to be measured by how content you feel at the end of the day. If not we would be simply ticking the boxes and moving on to the next, which can be never ending and exhausting. So when I wrote a chapter for this wonderful e-book initiative by Asia Professional Speakers Singapore (APSS) , I chose to simply write my heart out. You see, I write not because I am an expert, I write when I am curious or when I seek answers. This becomes a therapeutic process for me as I discover the answers. When I publish my discovery as an article, I am sharing my excitement. My chapter contribution for the APSS E-Book turned out to be one on Grounding the Self as I was going through the need and the process myself. Those who have experienced turbulence in an aircraft may recall that although it can get extremely uncomfortable, the aircraft holds up through the turbulent weather. This is because of the way airplanes are engineered for positive stability , that is, the aircraft has a natural tendency to get to it's original position when nudged. Similarly we too need to be able to realign to our core, our purpose and priorities, when we go off-course in turbulent situations. We need to build in positive stability by grounding ourselves in shaky times. I am very excited that I had the privilege of compiling my chapter 'Grounding in Turbulent Times' along with 18 others, written by thought-leaders from around the world, into an E-BOOK. Very grateful to APSS members for this idea- 19 thought leaders sharing 19 Ideas/nuggets of wisdom towards 1 purpose- that is to inspire and send positive vibes in COVID-19 times. Click the File Icon below to download the E-Book. Let me know your thoughts in the comments section of the blog. I appreciate the fact that while each one of us are affected, the extent of impact would be different depending on our unique circumstances. So please know that these are my musings and I would be happy to hear yours! If you would like to subscribe to my blog, CLICK HERE , scroll down and subscribe.

Today morning, as I heard my father's gifted voice in a melodious song he had sung on New Year's eve, I became very emotional. A month back, our family went through a rough time when my dad fell and suffered a bad head injury. It was totally unexpected as dad has always been this healthy, hearty and happy person living his life to the fullest. I frantically started looking for the next flight to Kerala (India) from Singapore. I just wanted to get to my dad and mom as soon as I could. But then a thought occurred to me. Would it be right to visit my dad in ICU as I could be a virus carrier? (with so many unknowns about the virus, there's always some risk, including the risk of catching the virus on the flight). Plus there was the risk of getting quarantined in either India or Singapore. With two little kids, that was definitely something to consider. My family back in India, especially my brother and mom, reassured it to me that dad is under good care and that the best decision from my end would be to not travel at that point. With a heavy heart, I decided to not fly. It was a tough call, but I did it thinking of the long term impacts of a seemingly simple decision to fly, ignoring the global spread of the virus. Today I know of atleast two people in my close-knit circle, who couldn't attend their own parent's funeral because of the lockdown. An unthinkable, painful situation!!! Despite the fact that each one of us is facing the consequences of this crisis, fighting our own battles, it is surprising to see the lack of seriousness on compliance in staying at home, not meeting others, and wearing masks when stepping out. How do we become more united globally in fighting this global crisis? The crisis is being dealt with essentially at two levels: 1) Governments 2) Individuals. For the purpose of this article, I will be focusing on individuals because governments are nothing but a body of individuals and this whole crisis is ultimately humans vs virus. This crisis is indeed bringing out our strengths and weaknesses as individuals, families, societies, communities and countries. In order to understand what we need to do, it is important to clearly reflect upon our strengths and weaknesses. Sharing a few thoughts below on what could be causing lack of compliance in the fight against Covid-19: 1) Being in Denial : To be in denial is to refuse to accept that something is wrong. In psychology denial is defined as a coping mechanism to adjust to distressing or traumatic situations. As per an article from Mayo Clinic , when in denial, a person a) Won't acknowledge a difficult situation b) Try not to face the facts of a problem c) Downplay possible consequences of the issue. Therefore being in denial for long can prove harmful. In the Covid-19 situation especially people exhibit denial by refusing to accept that one is equally vulnerable, and to understand that being healthy doesn't mean you are not a virus carrier. Such denial coupled with a deep desperation to feel normal can make people break rules, potentially harming themselves and unfortunately many other innocent people. We display denial in varying forms and degrees. I recall, when faced with the 2018 Kerala floods, my family refused to believe that our house will be affected. So did our neighbors and scores of other people. Even as water started flowing into our house we were in a state of denial. Getting out of denial is extremely important to take the right action. Though you can find many articles on how to, in my experience, accepting the reality of the situation and expressing emotions openly, be it fear, anxiety or helplessness is the first step. I was the first one to do it in our family and the first to take action to move our family towards safety. Read more about our Kerala Flood experience in this blog piece titled ' Flooded with Perspectives '. 2) Being misinformed: Its overwhelming to see the number of false remedies and cures being circulated on social media. I really want everyone to know that it's great to eat healthy, eat immune boosters etc, but those are not fool proof mechanisms to protect oneself from the virus. The only effective way to not get the virus is to not come in contact with it. So stay home, limit interactions to only your household, wear masks, practice safe distancing when fetching essentials, and rigorously inculcate personal hygiene habits. It's even more alarming to see global leaders making hasty claims on the effectiveness of certain drugs in treating the disease. I do recall reading the scientific paper on hydroxychloroquine myself when it was first published. I had also found it s 'promising'. But there are so many regulatory aspects to re- purposing a drug, especially to ensure its safety and efficacy through clinical trials. I do wish that it is effective, but leaders need to take utmost caution before making any claims as our present world is full of panic stricken people and issues such as drug overdosing can pose dangerous challenges. Whether crisis or not, science should and will strive to meet excellent research and ethical standards. 3) Disruption to means of livelihood : This is clearly one of the very challenging reasons why people are finding it torturous to stay home. For many a daily wage workers, poor or low income people around the globe, putting food on the table for their family has become impossible. The inequalities that always existed seem heightened now. Perhaps this is where governments can put a stronger focus and individuals who still have the financial means can play their part. I know of friends and family in India involved in distributing food packets to the poor. Here in Singapore too there are many citizen-led and government led initiatives. How can we support them? This is the hidden opportunity to feel fulfilled in challenging times through charitable actions. 4) The role of God : I have grown up hearing this 'Do your best, God will do the rest'. Please pay attention to the first part- 'Do your best'! I have heard many people tell me that I am so lucky because I always get the things I want. Very few have seen the pain I go through to get where I want or what I want. 'Luck favours the brave'. Similarly God can only help those who do their part even if it is painful or tough. Having faith, being optimistic, having hope - all this is much needed today than ever before. But continue to do your part first through compliance of global rules in this global crisis. Follow the rules set by our governments. Remember that they are also people, they too can only be successful if we can extend a compassionate and cooperating attitude rather than a complaining one. if at all you need to give a feedback, provide a well-thought out solution or alternative. In cases where you don't feel you can't trust anything else, trust yourself. Practice 'defensive driving' in this context. That is you remain sensible, prudent and cautious amidst other reckless drivers. This road is your life and the journey is yours, you are it's driver and the controls are largely in your hands. Lakshmi Ramachandran, PhD RESEARCHER, SPEAKER, COACH, AUTHOR, MOTHER, WIFE MY STORY I'm curious about Life. ​ At a scientific and spiritual level.​ The former took me through a broad career path in science.​ The latter enabled me to tide through challenges and experience meaningful changes.​ The combination of scientific and spiritual exploration has led me to found the concept of 'A productive life'-  One that is defined by clarity, consistency, and contentment at all times.  Read my story HERE

Today is officially the start of 'Circuit Breaker' in Singapore- which means everyone stays at home for another month except for essential services. There's no denying that it is a tremendously difficult phase. It's also naturally worrying thinking about the future. It is all real! It's absolutely okay to feel sad, anxious, frustrated, angry. Do vent it out- talk to friends and family, cry it out... But worrying for long can cause anxiety disorders which could lead to other diseases. Do we really want to worry too much about Covid-19 and invite other mental and physical health issues? So what are some things you can do to divert worry to something positive or simply distract oneself from worry? Personally, I find this a good time to incorporate simple habits that I have long wanted, but failed to do. For example, not looking at media and social media the first few hours in the morning. This time it was actually easy to do as I was getting overwhelmed hearing or reading such news. A simple act of staying away from such news has helped me save my productive hours during the day. #productivity #aproductivelife #positivity

“C ompassion is an extremely valuable virtue for the survival of our species. Our experience showed us that only mutual care and support can help us overcome adversities and not the instinct to selfishly secure limited resources. ” A Fateful Independence Day In the past, whenever I have watched news on natural disasters around the world, I have felt sad and bad for the affected people, but I had never thought that it could ever happen to me! Most of us, humans, tend to take things for granted, especially our safety, health and relationships. Our life is usually rushed, always seeking something- materialistic, intellectual or spiritual- one after the other! Not to blame anyone, life is such these days! But what when something shows you that whatever you think is yours doesn't belong to you- your wealth, name and fame? What when you realize that all that is worth in this lifetime is humanity and love for each other? The 15th of August this year would have passed off as yet another Indian independence day or yet another rainy monsoon day in Kerala, a beautiful green state in the southernmost part of India. Little did we realize that it was going to be a fateful day! I was packing bags to get ready for our flight back to Singapore that night after a vacation with family at my hometown in Kerala, Aluva. It was raining cats and dogs since morning, and by noon we got news that the Cochin international airport is shutting down due to flooding of the runway. Though we were disappointed at the change in plans, we presumed that the airport would start operations in a day or two when the rain stops. My parents' house is a two storey building. I was mostly upstairs that day ironing, packing and resting. When I came down in the evening, I saw my mom and grandma excitedly calling out to our kids to show water flowing in front of our gates. They thought it's so cool that kids are getting to see something like this!! I couldn't be as amused, nevertheless dismissed it as nobody looked alarmed and kids were highly excited! An hour later, water started coming into our front yard through the gates. At this point, my husband Ashwin said as that we should move out as a precaution. His younger brother stays a short distance away at an elevated part of town which seemed to be a safe place to go to. However, my folks were reluctant to move as there never was a case of flooding in the sixty five years they have been here! They were convinced of their decision as none of our neighbours had moved out either. I worried about the safety of our kids and mentioned to Ashwin that we must at least get them out to safety. However, Ashwin said, "if we evacuate, we evacuate together!" (He used to be a sailor and probably it was the Captain in him speaking to his fellow mates). Though I felt proud of my husband's concern and love for my family, I couldn't hide my fear about the rising water levels. I could barely eat dinner. By 8pm water came in through the gate, flooding our front and backyards as well as a low lying room in our home. It was too late to take the car out as the water level had risen considerably. Also it looked unsafe to step out in the water in the dark (flood waters are said to carry snakes and harmful debris). So we decided to wait the night out. Ashwin noticed my tension and reassured me that all will be well until next morning and that we will evacuate at the first opportunity. He made some arrangements for all of us to live on the first floor, such as hooking up a cooking stove, moving some eatables, filling the water tank, keeping the inverter battery elevated etc. However, I couldn't sleep that night! I worried that if water levels rose too fast we would be trapped inside. By mid-night we had about three feet water in the ground floor. We do not have open balconies or terrace in our house, eliminating chances of being airlifted for rescue. I was also concerned that at a time of emergency, rescue efforts can get overwhelmed and it may get difficult to reach out for rescue. During the night, power went off which made it a truly dark, cold and terrifying night! Ashwin and my dad were the most practical of the lot, who slept through in order to rest and conserve energy for the next day. I tried to wile away time thinking of ways to escape first thing in the morning. Later I saw that my mom and grandparents were also awake and worried. Strategies for escape on a cold-flooded morning Around 5am, water levels were rising faster. Thankfully and coincidentally an old friend of mine, Vidya, who lived on an elevated part of town messaged me to check on us. I told her of the situation and she encouraged me to dial helpline numbers. Mom and I started dialing those numbers and after many attempts, one number worked. The person at the other end noted our address, but said it may take time. I felt desperate and made a facebook post to inform my contacts of our situation and get help. I got calls from some friends who said they will try to contact the navy to rescue us. Meanwhile Vidya's husband Jayasankar * , called up to say that if we can get out of the house and reach to a dry point on main road ( about a kilometre away), he would wait there with his car and take us home. The challenge however was the risk of wading through cold, flooded waters which were like little gorging rivers. However, my intuition told me to take this risk rather than wait for rescue efforts to reach, as the water levels were now rising significantly. So, the decision was made and quick strategies were chalked out. Ashwin and I decided to brave the floods first. Ashwin said he could carry little Shiv (4 years) on his shoulders. He would then come back and do the same with older son Madhav (7 years) and my mom. Meanwhile we hoped to send rescue boats to get my grandparents and dad out. The Escape We quickly packed a change of clothes each for us and sealed it well in a plastic bag. With the instinct of a mom I threw in a pack of biscuits for Shiv (what if we couldn't meet Jayashanker and had to go to a relief camp). It was tough for me to leave behind one child, parents and grandparents. However, that was no time to be gripped by emotions. I told Madhav to remain calm and brave until Ashwin comes back. I told my folks to stay strong and that we will all be rescued. We put on thick clothing and covered heads with plastic bags as it was still raining. We stepped into our flooded ground floor. The water was very cold! It was disheartening to see the furnitures and fridge floating in the water. With a heavy heart we said goodbye and waded through waist-deep water one step at a time. The water level rose to the level of my chest on the next road. Shiv was calm and followed instructions to bend down to avoid low tree branches. Mid-way through the flooded sub-roads, we met some rescue workers, mostly civilians. I cannot express the relief I felt! They instructed us to walk through the middle of the road and a little later we met with few locals and couple of army men who were moving large vehicle tyres as makeshift boats for rescue. We directed them to our house to rescue our folks as well as neighbours. We then walked out of the flooded roads to a higher point where Jayasankar was waiting for us amidst a crowd of people. Myself and Shiv joined Jayasankar to head to his home, while Ashwin went back to rescue the others. Warm blanket of humanity in cold floods of distress Vidya and their younger son, Shyam, greeted us with a warm smile and a cup of hot tea at their residence. They already had two other families taking refuge in their apartment. After shower, Shiv and I ate the breakfast Vidya had prepared. For once I realized the true value of friendship, food & a safe shelter. I was ecstatic when an hour later Madhav, my parents and grandparents joined us at Vidya's & Jayasankar's place. I was very relieved to hear that Madhav was calm throughout. He in fact told me that he found the rescue supercool! Ashwin had gone back to join the rescue team. Though I worried momentarily about his safety, I felt really proud of him and was happy that he would be able to rescue many like us who were trapped in flooded houses. He got back after 4-5 hours and told us of stories of their rescue efforts, of people reluctant to come out, of helpless animals still in cages or tied up. He also confirmed that our decision to brave the floods was timely as the water levels had risen to the level of his face in those 5 hours after we escaped. The way people were helping each other in times of distress was heartening to see. At a time when we left all our belongings, I realized that nothing really belongs to us. It only takes an act of nature to wipe it all out. What remains for those who survive is only the warmth of humanity! At our friends' place, we all lived for three days happily, like a big joint family, despite the lack of electricity majority of the time. Vidya worked hard to feed all of us- around 18 people- and she and Jayasanker slept on the floor, giving up their beds for the elderly and children. Soon my mom and the rest of us started chipping in to do the chores and there was excellent division of labour. Jayasankar stepped out frequently to find means to get milk and other provisions as well as check with relief camps nearby if they needed help. Their friendly neighbours at Periyar View Apartments kept sending in food, especially an aunty and uncle next door. Another neighbour offered to take us to their parents' home where there was enough water to wash clothes. Our kids were very happy as they made friends with the rest of the kids and they were playing most of the time making paper planes and boats like good old times. All this while we kept ourselves positive through gratitude for our timely escape towards safety and for wonderful friends who helped us with the rescue and provided us with shelter and food. A friend of Vidya's staying with us with her 5 year old daughter waited three days for her husband and parents to be airlifted from the rooftop of their flooded house!!! The devastation and trauma that the floods brought into previously considered safe and beautiful regions in Kerala is huge. However, the floods also brought in fresh new perspectives towards life for us! First, nature is the ultimate equalizer, as everyone- irrespective of wealth, power, gender or age- is equally vulnerable to the forces of nature. Second, what we actually consider valuable and precious at the moment can be taken away in no time and the only priceless thing we have in reality are our relationships. Third, leadership during crisis is the ability to quickly assess risks and make a decision with a bigger picture in mind. Lastly, but most importantly, compassion is an extremely valuable virtue for the survival of our species. Our experience showed us that only mutual care and support can help us overcome adversities and not the instinct to selfishly secure limited resources. When the waters receded and we finally left Vidya's home, everyone broke into tears. Such was the bond created between us!!! * Dr. Jayasankar Neelakantan, IRS, is the Commissioner of Income Tax, overseeing 4 divisions in Kerala. We had the privilege of meeting him, his wife Vidya and older son Ashwin at Buffalo, NY, when we both (Jayasankar & myself) were doing our PhDs at The State University of New York at Buffalo (2001-2005). It was purely a coincidence that Vidya contacted me during the flood situation through a mutual friend, Dr. Prince Xavier! We met after nearly a decade!!

All my recent experiences have been pointing to just one thing- the answer to the above question! The first of these experiences was my unexpected encounter with the unprecedented floods in my hometown in Kerala in mid-2018. All other challenges that I had faced in my life until this point had seemed insignificant in front of the challenge of several lives at stake. When I left behind my precious belongings and waded through the floods without even once turning back, I had a profound realization that there's nothing more precious in life than life itself- of ours and of people around. I say profound because, all of us do know that life is precious, but we do not recognize this as a truth or wisdom that will help us live our lives more meaningfully and with contentment . Unfortunately even if we realize it at some point, we are humans after all, creatures who forget soon enough and get bogged down with life's day-to-day challenges! Aren't we in a constant pursuit of something? Be it more knowledge, more luxuries, better jobs/more business, better relationships, better health, better looks, more recognition or more approval!! In this pursuit we often forget to appreciate what we already have and take for granted several things, including the very life energy that keeps us alive and kicking. I am no exception to this. Soon after the flood experience, I got back to life busier than ever before. Goals after goals, plans after plans, forgetting that my requirements during the flood situation was so minimal, simply being thankful for our being safe and having shelter, enough food, and clothes. Ironically, despite the tough times we faced, the situation had brought to light the essence of humanity and we experienced a deep connection with other survivors and rescuers. There was no power and gadgets, so the adults talked to each other without distractions and the kids played together like good old times, making paper boats and rockets. Sadly, when life got back to 'normal', with gadgets and other technology that claims to improve connections, we seemed to have lost the real connection to life! What got me thinking about life again was the sudden demise of a person I know - a kind-hearted, sprightly lady, mom of two very young kids. The news was shocking and unbelievable. My heart went out to her family as I thought about the void and pain in their lives. And just as I was coming to terms with it, I got news that a very close family member survived a horrendous accident, albeit with serious injuries. I felt my heart sink in disbelief! These incidents made me recognize o nce again of the precious nature of life. I now understand the true implication of the Sanskrit verse 'Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu' which I was taught to chant every time I prayed. It means 'May every being in this universe be well and free from suffering' . By saying this, I affirm that my thoughts, words, and actions contribute in some way to the well-being of all. Appreciating life of ours and others (no matter who), brings in great peace and happiness. This is because 1) joy multiplies when we feel genuinely happy for others 2) when there is compassion, there is space for forgiveness 3) and when there is forgiveness, there is true liberation.

The elevator door closed leaving the image of my 3-year old’s tearful face in my mind. As I headed towards office, my heart felt terribly heavy. His little hands had reached out to me in despair and I had walked away. How stone-hearted am I to walk away from my little child! Drops of tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked out of the car window. Here I am, on one hand, an ambitious woman with dreams, vision and aspirations, and on the other, a working mother who contemplates ‘quitting’ work in situations like these. I know I am not alone in this. I bet working mother’s ‘guilt’ is an overlooked factor that affects many women and their careers. The guilt instils an underlying feeling of inadequacy, both at the personal and professional front, triggering the thought to quit. However, guilt neither helps family nor work, and quitting work is not the solution. Fortunately, it is possible to overcome this guilt by changing thoughts and actions that instil and nurture working mom’s guilt. Here I share three things that helped me beat working mother's guilt and move on with my goals, both personal and professional. 1) Accepting that you are doing ‘ENOUGH’! There have been several occasions when I have announced to my husband that I am quitting. His standard response has been, “It’s your decision, but let me tell you that you are doing ENOUGH as a mother!” His words have certainly been an important determinant of my continuing career in science, yet deep within I couldn’t bring myself to accept that I was doing enough. There was always something more I 'should' have done!. Somehow kids seemed to sense my guilt and even started taking advantage of it. I realized this when one day, my seven-year old said “we feel lonely when you are not around and hence watch TV”. I found myself angry, irritated, tired and helpless. That was the time I discussed this matter with professional life coach Reena Yadav*. Her counselling helped me a big deal to overcome the guilt. When you have done enough to ensure that your children are taken care of well in your absence, why would you feel guilty? And when you are with them, if you are fully present with them, even if it is for a short while, it is contentment that would fill you and not guilt of the past or the future anticipation of you having to leave them again When you affirm that you are doing enough and whatever you are doing is in the best interests of all, including yourself and your loved ones, guilt finds no place in your mind. Nothing goes wrong if you forgot to add extra veggies to your kid’s meals or slept off before telling your kids a story! When you are free of guilt, your children are able to sense that as well and the drama stops. 2) Knowing that this is a passing phase “Remember, this is a transient phase!” Today they are crying when you leave, but tomorrow you may be crying when they leave. That is the nature of life! Wouldn’t it be best for you to be having something to do then?” My husband’s words not only made me realize this fact of life, but also made me want to make the best use of my present moments with kids. When I get back home, my two little boys run towards me hugging and kissing me with excitement. I put my phone and bag away, embrace them, put on some music and we all dance. This lets me let go of everything else and be in the moment with them! When I really began enjoying my time with them, instead of feeling stressed about naughty behaviours, mis-placed toys or veggies in their meal, I was able to go to bed with the contentment that I have done enough for myself and my kids, freeing me of guilt. Therefore, the key is to ‘be with your kids fully’-physically and mentally-when you are with them. Also, it’s only a matter of time before kids grow up and start feeling proud of your contributions to family, work and society. 3) Letting go of the need to have everything perfect In the past I would spend a lot of time in the kitchen after coming back from work as I enjoyed cooking and was quite adamant about giving my kids fresh food cooked by me. Although I got a lot of satisfaction from doing this, I would get physically very exhausted thus lacking the energy needed to be with my kids fully. At that time, my second child who was only two years old, would often come to the kitchen tugging at my dress. I realized that my kids cared more about my presence than what I cooked for them. It is important for a working mother to let go of any needs to have her hands on everything. Hire help, allow your spouse to help/contribute (even if they may not be doing it exactly as you want) or plan/organize better, so that you don’t spend your precious time at home doing chores! When you let go of the need for perfection, you will notice that you become more relaxed, and when you are relaxed, you become pleasant and patient. This enables you to respond to kids positively, creating a fulfilling experience for you and liberating you from guilt. What offices can do to support working mothers! As I have personally benefited from life coaching and self-enhancement workshops, I propose that companies organize talks/workshops to create awareness on the issues working women face, including working mom’s guilt. The awareness will help create a supportive working environment for working mothers. For example, in the Mechanobiology Institute, Singapore, where I worked earlier, the provision of a dedicated room with fridge for nursing mothers to pump milk, was a huge relief for many working mothers in science, including myself. This gave us the satisfaction of being able to provide mother’s milk to our young babies, when we were at work. These are significant steps every organization must adopt, as it not only caters to significant human needs but also helps raise efficiency and productivity of employees.

“ To have fear is human, but those who overcome their fears become extraordinary humans ” Recently, when my 7-year old spoke of his fear to sleep alone, after hearing 'ghost stories' from friends, I narrated my own stories to him when I conquered my fears and went onto do what I wanted to in my life. This is one such story- an account of my first trip to the US as a 21 year old graduate student in 2001, a time so different from now when cell phones and credit cards were still a luxury and owned only by the elite few. After hearing this story, my 3-year old immediately conferred on me the title: 'Brave Little Mama'! On board the first trip to the U.S I buckled my seat belt, closed my eyes and leaned sideways, letting my head rest on the little space between the cabin windows. I felt relieved. Everything is in place and finally I am on my way to the US to do my PhD in cell & molecular biology! I recalled how stressful the few days prior to this trip had been. As if getting all the right documents in order wasn't taxing enough, the long list of relatives and friends to call and say goodbye to bogged me down! Then there was a long list of to-do’s like buying travellers cheques and some $$$, hunting for thermals and warm clothes in tropical Cochin (my home town in Kerala, India), packing 'must take along' desi (meaning local within most part of South Asia, mainly India) essentials like pressure cooker and masalas, few desi clothes, and more! The toughest part was stuffing all of these into two suitcases: Packing-weighing-removing-repacking-reweighing, whew! Therefore on board the plane I felt calm and relaxed. As the plane took off I looked out through the window and marveled at the greenery of my beautiful blessed land and wondered how long it would be before I would see it again! The greenery blurred as my eyes got misty, unexpectedly! I will miss my folks!! All of a sudden it dawned on me that I am on my way to a far-off, foreign land, only familiar to me through TV!! The only people I knew there were couple of email contacts I got to know through the international students union at SUNY, Buffalo. I had spoken once to Meg, my roommate-to-be from Pune, and she herself had arrived in the US only a week back. Would she and the senior, who offered her a ride to the airport to pick me up, be there on time? What would I do if they don’t turn up? This was year 2001 when cell phones and credit cards were still a luxury! In that freak-out moment, I almost ended up wanting to jump off the plane and go back home. What was I thinking when I wrote my GRE and sent in my application?!! Feeling the seat belt around my waist, on that one-way flight, I realized that looking back was pointless! I was doing things so mechanically, focused on getting everything right for my first trip to the U.S, that the fact that I was going to a foreign, far-off land, never sunk in. Nevertheless, today I am thankful that it was a one-way trip. The experience that this trip and subsequently life as a student in the U.S brought in my life is priceless. Meg and the senior did greet me at Buffalo airport with warm smiles! And from that moment, the U.S became my home and no longer a foreign land. To have fear is human, but those who overcome their fears become extraordinary humans Here I share important aspects of conquering fear that I observed through my experience. 1) When you have a goal and all your focus is on achieving it, you seldom experience fear! As I stated above, it didn't even strike me that I am going to a foreign, far-away place, until I boarded the plane! All my focus had been on getting to the US to do my PhD. There was just so much work to do to achieve my goal that I didn't have the time to think of my trip to the US with anxiety or fear. This is true for anything we want to do in life. Instead of worrying about the challenges that you may encounter, focus on the goal and on the work to do to achieve it. This way, chances of you achieving the goal is also higher because you would be so ahead in your journey that even if fear crops up at some point, you may not have the option to drop out (similar to how I couldn't jump off the plane when my fears appeared)! 2) Courage to venture opens up new unseen avenues I recall Meg excitedly walking me into our future home, 139 Heath Street, a slightly run down townhouse with bare minimum furniture and a big kitchen - not exactly the picture I had in mind of a US home, but apt for a student house! Little did we know at that time that 139 Heath Street would set the stage for Roomies/Foodies* book, which I co-authored with Meg several years later! Publishing Roomies/foodies turned us science graduates into best-selling authors of an 'award-winning' digital memoir-cookbook! The book gave us the opportunity to also advocate for healthy and happy living as graduate students. ( To read more about the publishing story of Roomies/Foodies click here ). Each opportunity in our life comes with many more downstream opportunities/possibilities that we do not know of or even think of. It is natural to have fears, but it is important to not succumb to fears and let go off opportunities! It is when you tell yourself to go forward in spite of a pounding heart and trembling legs that you see the world, learn, and grow. 3) Sometimes, fear can be an indication that you are on the right track with respect to your life goals! Have you at any time experienced greater fear and anxiety when setting out to accomplish larger life goals? I recently experienced this when I embarked on a self-initiated project that would have an impact beyond me, that is on the world!! It was a feeling of thrill mixed with fear and anxiety. Those who have dared to do extreme adventurous sports like bungee jumping or even a steep roller coaster ride may be able to relate to the feeling. The most important thing to know is that the fear goes away once you get into the venture. It is natural to feel fear when embarking on something new and big owing to the uncertainties. But the moment you take the plunge, it's pure thrill and excitement that would eventually give you a lasting feeling of fulfilment. So shrug off your fear and just do it!!! I am grateful to my parents for letting me venture! Today as a parent, I can very much understand the anxiety they would have endured while sending me away to a far off place at a time when they couldn't even reach or keep track of me until I found a phone to call them. However they always reflected trust and faith in my decisions and actions, which in turn boosted my courage to tread meaningful paths. * Roomies/Foodies is a unique memoir-recipe book which I co-authored with my friend Meghana from gradschool days in Buffalo, USA. The book is a witty, real-life account of our student life in the US far far away from home, when we had no choice but take to cooking to save money. This book will inspire many a students living abroad to look at cooking as a healthy way of life and to whip up dishes in no time not only to save your precious dollars but also to earn great friends and have a fun and productive grad student life! Roomies/Foodies was launched in December 2015 by Bloody Good Book publishers, India's first open source and crowd curated publishing platform. Roomies/Foodies won the RunnerUp Award in the category of Best Digital Book of 2016 by Publishing Next Industry Awards. Roomies/Foodies is available on Amazon as an ebook and in a paper back version. Roomies/foodies is also available as an App that can be downloaded on iOS and Android

“W hen you take a moment to write about yourself, you will be surprised to discover an inspirer within you! When you discover this, you will realize limitless potential within yourself. Your dreams and aspirations will become clearer and you will start getting the direction towards achieving your goal. .” Today there is a lot of emphasis on 'storytelling' as a powerful method of communication to influence audience in a wide range of fields, be it in science, business or brand building. I first realized the power of personal stories a couple of years ago when I shared my career story on 'how' I transitioned from academia into the industry and then into science communications. This was during a career talk at my previous work place (Mechanobiology Institute, NUS) and I was delighted to hear that people found the talk very useful. Since then I have provided mentoring to many a students and junior scientists aspiring to have a career in science. Most recently, I shared my story in science by threading together events from my personal and professional life, through storiesinscience.org. This became one of their most viewed articles and was re-published by the UNESCO Asia pacific . Later I joined the ' stories in science' initiative to advocate the power of stories of people in science as a means to inspire and inform aspiring junior scientists. In this role, I have been reaching out to my network in science and encouraging them to share their stories. However, most people are reluctant to share for various reasons, one of which is their belief that their stories are not inspiring. When stories become inspiring I agree that not everyone has dramatic turning points in their careers. But the fact is, no one in this world is spared of challenges. The nature, degree, extent and timing may vary. It could be a tough boss, lack of support, lack of direction, failures, career breaks or long gap between jobs, personal setbacks etc. The sad part is once we are out of challenges, we often devalue ourselves saying ‘this is something anyone would have done’. The fact is that anyone who survives such challenges and changes their life has a story. A story becomes inspiring when the author honestly shares the challenges they faced, and most importantly, discusses how they overcame that setback. It is not necessary for a person to have achieved a particular level in their career to share an inspiring story. For example, the story or an account of a PhD or MBA student can be inspiring to someone aspiring to get a higher degree. I am sharing this point because I had held back from sharing my story for a long time as I had felt that I had not reached anywhere close to the pinnacle in my career. However, the truth is that each point or phase in our career and life is a milestone in itself! How sharing your story empowers you! Besides the joy and a sense of fulfilment in inspiring others, when you take a moment to write about yourself, you will be surprised to discover an inspirer within you! When you discover this, you will realize limitless potential within yourself. Your dreams and aspirations will become clearer and you will start getting the direction towards achieving your goal. For me, communicating my story through writing or speaking has been quite therapeutic! I have always shied away from giving credit to myself until recently. I used to even get embarrassed when my parents mentioned about my PhD to someone. I had associated humility with 'NOT' talking about your top educational qualifications or job position. However my perspectives on this aspect have changed now as I have realized that sharing one’s accomplishments, however small it is, can be a confidence booster for self and at the same time provide inspiration and hope to many. Infact approving and giving credit to oneself should be a first habit, not to be confused with superiority or blowing own trumpet. If you look around there isn’t a shortage for people who can inspire you. The whole world is in fact swarming with people who have walked that extra mile in various walks of life. But have you looked within yourself for inspiration? Have you ever thought of yourself as an inspiring person? if not, do so NOW! As much as you look at others for ideas and inspiration, look within yourself for your innate inspiration. Then share YOUR story which not only inspires others but also empowers YOU!

I was finding it tough… to find that spark of joy…amidst certain difficult times... I was bogged down by the weight of my thoughts! Thoughts such as ‘what’s the meaning of life?’, ‘what are we chasing when one day we are sure to leave this world?’, ‘I can never be happy when my loved ones are suffering!’, ‘How can I be happy when people are fighting and getting killed around the world?’ etc., etc. I was going about doing my duties, and what was required of me, but deep down were these questions that I was constantly seeking answers for. I was lacking the positive energy that usually sees me through the multiple things I handle each day! I would look at my eyes in the mirror and realize that they had lost their twinkle…that spark!! It was an unusual state of being for me, to get so buried in questions about life and not getting a clear answer/guidance. These thoughts were a result of my recent experiences, starting with being in a natural disaster last year and then a series of news about people I know facing life-threatening illnesses, injuries from fatal accidents, becoming bed-ridden and losing lives…. I was so grounded by life’s realities that even in certain moments when I would normally have been ecstatic, I found myself detached. Joy seemed elusive! For once I felt that being positive at all times is easier said than done. In fact, a friend of mine pointed out that it’s tough to express a sad state of mind these days due to the social pressure of positivity. It becomes worse when one starts receiving unsolicited advice on staying positive. So, most people who go through such times either put up a brave front or become aloof, especially from social media, which is deceptively brimming with pictures of people beaming with joy and leading the best of lives. I wish we could simply remind ourselves that it’s normal to feel sad as much as it’s normal to feel happy and one needn’t feel the pressure to be happy at all times. One question that haunts the mind during tough times is ‘why me?’ or ‘why my family’?! Many people would be able to relate to this. However, this is a crippling question that can make one feel stuck. For a simple reason that there is no answer! After all who doesn’t go through challenges? In fact, accepting tough times to be a normal part of life’s journey is important in moving forward. The resilient ones are those who know this. 'Accepting' is not putting up a brave front, rather It’s being true to how you are feeling about the situation- bad, sad, overwhelmed, distressed, angry, frustrated etc. and knowing that it’s okay to feel these emotions and let it out. There was an earlier time in my life when I faced a huge challenge, a time when I had felt the pressure to put up a brave front - a time when I didn’t want anyone to know what I was going through! The reason - I didn’t want to be judged! . I was already labeled ‘sensitive’ and ‘emotional’. I was ashamed of my true expressive nature! I was breaking down inside without providing a vent out for my broiling feelings within. It was only when these bottled up emotions manifested as a nagging stomach pain called the ‘irritable bowel syndrome (IBS}’ that I understood the consequences of being in denial. I recognized that my true nature was really my superpower- the ability to express myself genuinely in both happy and sad situations. Showing vulnerability and asking for support during tough times is indeed an important element of resilience. Once we let ourselves and situations be, it becomes easier to take steps to move forward without feeling stuck. Four Powerful Ways to Find that Spark Again 1) Finding moments of inner SILENCE: In moments of silence, truth shines! The truth that ‘I’ am insignificant in the large scheme of life, to ‘let go’ and most importantly ‘let be’. Both joy and sorrow are inevitable truths just as birth and death are. We need to let those things be that are beyond our control. When one of our family members went through a horrific accident recently, my 8-year old son, Madhav, said he wished he had a time machine through which he could go back in time and changed what happened. I was touched by his kind heart and pure intent. But the fact is at the moment we do not have such capabilities, so we accept and do what is within our abilities to move forward. How do you find those moments of silence? Meditation and exercise (yoga, walking, running) are great ways to incorporate moments of silence. Most of us lack the motivation to incorporate these practices in our lives and do not really understand how to. I suggest getting a teacher and a support group so that you learn the right techniques and remain motivated through the group. 2) SMILING unconditionally: When going through painful times, it is but natural that the corners of our lips go down making it very tough for a smile to appear. The sad part is that these days we do not even smile unless there is a reason to smile. How often do we smile at colleagues we see every day but do not work with? The lack of a simple courteous smile has made it possible to work under the same organization for years as strangers. Why? Are we afraid that our smile won’t be reciprocated? Or have we become extremely conditional about a smile? An unconditional smile is a really a ‘secret power’ that not only benefits the person who holds the smile, but also others through a ripple effect. Even during tough times it’s possible to light up a smile if we can remember and count our blessings, including our own life. 3) SURROUND oneself with loving people: The number of people who truly love and feel genuinely for you may be not many. What’s important is to know who they are and surround yourself with your well-wishers. I used to be such a people pleaser in the past that I found myself constantly chasing after people who would never appreciate or approve me. Today I recognize people-pleasing as a self-sabotaging habit. It’s a waste of time and energy to be around people who zap your energy. Instead spending time with people who loves you as much as you love them is an energy booster and is uplifting. 4) SURRENDER: Let’s stop pretending that we know everything. We can be subject matter experts, but that doesn’t give us the qualification to know it all. I am pained to see people thrashing each other on social media, including our leaders, to prove a point or to demonstrate their views to be correct. As a mother I am ashamed that there are no examples I can show my children on good global leadership which needs to be based on values, caring (for people, planet and others views) and sharing. It’s when we surrender and accept that ‘I DON’T KNOW’ that the ‘learning’, which is truly the cherry in the pie, in any tough situation becomes evident. Every challenge we face comes with a learning that teaches us something. Those who know this move forward even stronger than ever before with a spark - of love, gratitude and peace!! Lakshmi Ramachandran, PhD is the founder of ' A Productive Life', a concept through which she aims to enable people to live a life of 'Clarity', 'Consistency' and 'Contentment'. Dr.Lakshmi is a Professional Speaker, Coach and Writer. She has a PhD in Cell and Molecular Biology from SUNY Buffalo, USA, and has over 15 years work experience in science as a researcher, communicator and administrator. Read more about her here.